We’re all in the business of mental health

Founders’ mental health is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.

A giant Family that supports survival

It’s been difficult to read this compelling account of depression by my colleague Mathias and the press in the wake of Colin Kroll’s death, together with witnessing a few recent mental breakdowns. That’s why I decided to spend some time reflecting on why it’s so hard for companies to tackle this problem head-on. Because it’s all too easy to criticize without offering solutions, I want to clearly lay out our way of considering mental health at The Family and talk about what we are doing to support our community. The essence of it is that survival comes before success. Mental health is not a luxury, it’s a business imperative.

It’s all our faults

Whether we like it or not, we are all in some way responsible for other people’s mental health, to an extent that we rarely consider or are able to measure. The Netflix series 13 Reasons Why produced a disturbingly compelling account of this mechanism. If we matter as people, then we must acknowledge that our “mental health impact” on others is multiplied at the company scale. And it’s especially sensitive and important when you are working with a category of individuals who have been shown to be particularly prone to these sufferings.

Being a founder is like deciding to cross the Atlantic on a little boat — it seems cool when you announce it, but there will always be a moment, in the midst of a storm, as 50-foot waves come crashing down on you, and your friends come by on their safe, warm yacht and say, “Hop on, its warm in here.” And the very moment when you politely decline is the start of a period of truly daunting isolation. That’s because, in that moment, you appear irrational.

Or, more scientifically: many issues like isolation, extreme expectations, tons of pressure, being misunderstood, impostor syndrome, and having less time for socializing are common among entrepreneurs — more so than in the general population. Research has shown that this results in entrepreneurs being more likely to suffer from depression and ADHD, as well as having more suicidal thoughts. Here are a few examples of founders speaking out about this topic.

It’s extremely hard to address mental health

We cannot realistically assume that organizations in the entrepreneurial ecosystem fail to address mental health straight on because they are badly intentioned or just don’t care. The reality is that it’s really hard, not least for the following reasons:

• Time and Incentives: Organizations rarely work closely with entrepreneurs for a very long time, and incentives are often skewed towards short-term success. Thus making the long-term well-being and stability of people a priority may seem unnatural. You can always just push through for a little longer, right? And on the other side, hiding depression may seem like a rational move for founders looking to raise funds or keep investors happy.
• Interaction Design: Collaboration is typically very structured and people meet with founders for specific reasons and in specific contexts — which are not conducive to bringing up these issues.
• Information Asymmetry: It’s very hard to detect when people are unwell — even among our close friends and Family. So it’s unsurprising that organizations that do not create strong personal relationships with founders struggle to detect hints of depression or anxiety, let alone act on it (mental health is, after all, still quite taboo).

Don’t treat the symptoms

Usually, organizations that do attempt to treat mental health challenges tend to imitate medical treatment: treating the symptoms rather than the cause (paying for mental health apps, meditation, coaches…). That is not to say these can’t help. However, as Johann Hari discussed in his book Lost Connections, while antidepressants are no-doubt effective in the short run, they do not work towards a resolution of the problem. They simply mute the symptoms. The most effective methods, he claims, address the root cause: isolation and the feeling of being misunderstood.

Align the incentives

At The Family, we designed our organization such that our incentives are in perfect alignment with founders over the long term: a startup that joins The Family doesn’t leave The Family; we don’t take equity immediately; and most importantly, we support people over companies. A startup can fail, but that doesn’t mean the entrepreneur is out of The Family. For that reason, we have the gift of time. From the gift of time ensues the rare opportunity to tackle the root of mental disorders causes up front.

When your incentives are aligned with people and not businesses, then you care for their individual performance, not just short-term business metrics. Don’t get me wrong, this does not imply we don’t care about metrics, it simply implies that we are in it for the long run:

Imagine founder A starts company A. If you bet on company A and it fails, you fail. However, if you bet on founder A, then you have a chance to be rewarded when they create a giant with company B (or company C).

That’s why we strive for an environment of relentless support for people: a Family.

A few concrete examples

A family home

When you call yourself The Family, it’s important that the space is designed like a home.

• In London, we’ve had an actual house, with bedrooms and all, that would welcome entrepreneurs and members of the staff when they were in town.
• We have a dedicated team that works really hard to create a picturesque representation of our cradle for ambition: bright colors, lots of plants and plenty of natural light are proven to stimulate the brain.

Family meals

This is about finding any excuse to get together: the startup reasoning is serendipity (you’re able to randomly meet people that will be helpful for your business), the founder reality is the human connection.

• Dinners: every month, we organize big founder dinners in each city, with up to 200 entrepreneurs and friends from the ecosystem. Once we made everyone send baby photos of themselves.
• We spend many evenings around a wholesome family meal , whether it’s just our team, with a few select entrepreneurs, or with the whole Family — all prepared with love by our in-house chef.
• We welcome new entrepreneurs at a very special onboarding weekend, where we share rooms, food, and stories. This is where they discover other people that seem to be a lot like them and that can understand them.

Family responsibility

Taking ownership of responding to people’s problems, even those that aren’t associated with their business, frees up founders’ mind space and lets them be even more dedicated to their business.

• Constant support on Slack is a form of respect: it’s about founders being able to rely on the fact that if and when things go horribly wrong, we will be there to help — no matter the hour.
• The things we are willing to help our founders with often reach far beyond business: finding a place to live, helping their partners find a job, etc. The most extreme form of this is the Diaspora program we are currently launching in Berlin, which will accommodate entrepreneurs from abroad and help them secure a visa.

Family bonds

We are friends with our founders, and that is why they come back to us. Being surrounded by people who understand what you are going through is key.

• We never stop repeating that we should practice CARE with everything we do, with everyone we meet: whether it is a guest at an event, a person who randomly walks into the office, or an entrepreneur we’ve known for years.
• We even do sports together, every week.

Family holidays

Alice Zagury, one of the co-founders of the Family, always had a dream of running a summer camp, and you can feel how that dedication to creating moments of release and fun is a real pillar here — we give founders business excuses to go on holidays and take some time off.

• Every year we organize a summer camp with 150 entrepreneurs — last year it was Sardinia, this year we went camping on a lake near Bordeaux.
• Recently, a group of our Series A founders went on a ski weekend together, where they shared all their current successes and challenges — a great opportunity to be with people who really understand you.

The long road ahead

Still, our approach is undeniably incomplete and imperfect. For instance, there are still too many signals we fail to catch, and we know there are some people we cannot help. It is especially challenging for us to support founders across different geographies with the same level of attention. Since density varies greatly across cities, we don’t get to see them face-to-face as often — and while remote is cool, seeing people is still key. The number of new startups we take (20 every 8 weeks) also makes it difficult to have equal levels of care for everyone. All in all, we could do much, much more, and we want to get there!

If you have a different approach to/opinion about mental health in your organization and are working with entrepreneurs, or if you are an entrepreneur interested in discussing what we could do better, I would really love to hear from you — emilie@thefamily.co

Thanks Kyle for the precious feedback!